| Imgunnatakemyclothesoff |
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| 03:48pm 11/07/2004 |
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Becasue my life is so insanly busy, itis hard to find something to do when I am not working at one of my jobs....which explains why I feel compelled to write in here. Everyone, I am still alive.
whoa....!
I found out the other night why it is that guys spend millions of dollars at stip clubs. They are the best things in the world. The girls were not as hot as I had imagined, I suppose movies have disillusioned me. Either way, it was just a hot night. and Shane "sprang" for a lap dance for me by Candy... and I mean that literallly.
And seeing him get one was actually kinda hot...it was just like that other time but....
However, What I found most interesting though is that I got more stares and eyes on me.. and I was wearing clothes...
for the most part
We met Travis at one of the clubs we went to. I was hoping to see Denise but we had to go because the girls were just not as hot or interesting. |
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( Try to tame me ) |
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| 10:41am 01/11/2002 |
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CandiceRXB: yeah hanging out with your oldfriends parents
CandiceRXB: real cool
Shane--- Yeah.. I mean.. She's not going to have the people that she wants there.. Its going to be you instead of her real friends.
Hmm...:/ |
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(2 Unbroken spirits | Try to tame me ) |
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| Rebutle? |
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| 11:31pm 24/10/2002 |
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mood:  content music: Trynna to find a way.....Tryin to find a right
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Lol.. I did tell Skylars boyfriend what to eat.. not to eat.. what to drink.. how to sing. Its funny, becasue it listened, & said.. "Alison.. Your God"
I know.. I am.. I know. :)
**signs Contract**
If you think I did it.. it must be true. :D |
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(2 Unbroken spirits | Try to tame me ) |
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| 07:01am 23/10/2002 |
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Maybe I should right.. since it is raining..
Its raining. It means distrust.. evil, "the Sotrm"
But its too nice outside to comapare to any of thoose people. :)
yay@!
**Ali**... to some of thoose.. who I want to call me "Ali"
:) |
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(1 Unbroken spirit | Try to tame me ) |
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| 11:48am 06/10/2002 |
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Just sitting here..thought that I was never going to write/read livejournal again.. but due to people silliness.. and never calling me back last night.. I was forced.
Dammit. Sean. Alison. Shane. Ditching me on my birthday. :(
I love how people make me sad and talk about Desert Ridge funness without little old me. DAmn.. Jeez.. I sound stupid. blah.. Whatever. :( I just really wanted to meet Kyle.. and I couldnt.
"I bet Alison and Sky wished they were there..." I know Alison does
tear.
Happy Birthday Alison.. Its all weekend long |
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( Try to tame me ) |
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| Neer saw Blue like that.... |
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| 07:35pm 06/09/2002 |
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mood:  contemplative music: "Never saw Blue like that"
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No Ethel Time tonight.. just me.. and my computer.. and my head.. thoughts.. words. This feeling of contentness warms me... and it shouldn't. Just the thought.. " i have nothing to do tonight". Can you imagine!?!?!?!?! Like Unicorns and elves.. nothing to do. Just sit here.. and imagine.. in my indulgence of my readings.. and writings that I have neglected for months now. I will go out.. in a bit.. and come home.. and stay uplate... alone. And peaceful. and Have think time... Giddy with anticipation... The idea... makes me want to spread out the whole night. I wont sleep, becasue I cant think when I am in a slumber... just dream. Is it better to do.. then to dream? Or is there no better or worse.
We.. like animals..hunt the weaker or maybe not weaker.. but smaller.. prey fr us to feed on. Does that make us Strong? Or even...big? The coyote... eats the poor rabbits... and the cats that we carelessly let go wandering outside in the dessert. but becuase the coyote can kill rabbits.. does that make him any braver than that coyote that can kill a unicorn? Some fat girl.. must have been 600 pounds.. came up to amanda today. Poor Rabbit... she didnt have a bite in chance... She ddint stomp the ground like other rabbits would have in case of danger.. she just let that 600 pound coyote have her for lunch.
Silly Rabbit. Friends are for help. :)
**ALi** |
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(1 Unbroken spirit | Try to tame me ) |
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| S is for Sassy |
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| 07:59pm 02/09/2002 |
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I think sooner or later my little Sassy hamster will be able to type with me.. but for now, my dear old Ethel will sit together happily and tell you about our new little girl friend that I got last week. My little Sassy girl Shane bought me for our anniversary. I think that .. I have.. the most cutest teddy bear in the world. :vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv <--Ethel Says hi
She thanks you Shane.. and me too.. I love you... :)
I got a surprise from Alison the other day too.. 100 Grand.. Just becasue.. :) Alison.. I have the best Idea for a choclate party!!!
I have to write some dumb thing for History.. which I havent started. and I want to do everything but.... Sit here and and be 3 playing with my furry little furballs.
Last night was so.... different than expected. Now.. dont get me wrong.. I still had the same ampunt of fun as anticipated..Brandon had a mowhawk.. and Brian was .. Brian.. Anthonys blue eyes.. his most beautiful eyes.. arent blue anymore.. I can see them changing...it funny how you loose your brightness. I know I will never though.. I hope to only gain hue.
Cigerette smokey hair from the mommment I got there...But.. I wouldnt have not gone.. I love seeing them :) |
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( Try to tame me ) |
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| 11:34pm 25/08/2002 |
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mood: cute, smart, and selfish music: "Chain of Fools"--Aretha Franklin.. :)
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Something drew you to me tonight Livejournal. I should be in bed or completeing the 108734873(hyperbole) things I have to do tonight, but instead, I thought of my readers out there who will never know how I feel at this minute.. this one.. this exact one..11:35 pm.. August 25th, 2005. mark your calendars folks, becasue I will prolly never fel this way again.. this exact way..annoyed with peoples heads.. happy.. content.. NOT worried.. 11:36... do I feel that way anymore?
So I sit here.. and get along with my sister.. talking over new clothes and hicckeys that appear on my newly larger and buffer arm... pit. And I wait for my fake tanner to dry, becasue we are all trying to be something we are not..right? or maybe it isn't even that.. maybe we ar all just trying to improve ourself... and in doing so.. we seem fake... or we neglect others FOR ONCE in our life. It is funny how you will sit there and assume (ASS out of U and ME) that I am talking about maybe Skylar.. or Elijah.. or Shane.. Or meghan.. anyone who got themself into this whole thing.. becasue it is funny how.. little old me.. started it.. and secretly ran out of it. Was that just me who noticed it? huh. WEll you see.. I am the one who said.. "no more Elijah".... and then of course.. Elijah says "No more Alison" .. and then Shane says.. "no more Anyone".. and know Skylar says "no more Alison or Shane"... but yet.. I sit here as a bystander because I had nothing to do with any of this. Funny how thoose little thins work out. Quirky. Dont you agree?
So.. who loves them self? I do.. so that would make me selfish. Like I Love Shane.. and that makes me Shaneish.. right? So.. I think I will be the first to admit I am Selfish.. I love my self.. yes. I do.
Alisonish. Skyish. Jessish...Phooish...seanish...
I'm so many ishes... I could be a fish. :D
Wtf?
yup...
**ALi** |
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(6 Unbroken spirits | Try to tame me ) |
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| Breath the smell of horse manure |
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| 07:24pm 14/08/2002 |
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mood: content music: "Thats the way(uh-huh uh-huh)"--Byonce
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Another day of mucking out stalls. Not so fun. Although.. I dont mind. Becasue I am there with 12 of the most beautiful creatures. There is this horse there, Rasco. He is the most beautiful creature (besides Devon of course) out there, but he is the BIGGEST pain in the butt.. litterally. I was cleaning out the stalls, and I wasnt watching him.. and OUCH! a bite.. right in the arse. lol. I must admit though, it was amusing. Andrew gave me licks today. I have never seen horses lick anyone before. Maybe I was just extra sweet. :)
My mom.. just said.. she wanted to go to the racetracks and bet on horses. Me, complaing that the was cruel, with her response saying.. "they are gunna race anyways if I bet or not". I dont understand. I feel so immature. I dont eat animals...but I know that they are never going to stop killing animals for food. You have to be strong in what you belive in I suppose.. even if there is a wave of different beliefs or cravings headed your way. :)
I wrote in my journal last night.... I though it was cute... some little poetic words.. I dont know if it will ever gradute to a poem or not, but I thought I would share.
"there should be support groups
for thoose with
forgotton eyes...
smiles that have been
unaccounted for.
And it woulkd have a sign
on the front door
thats reads
"No shirts, no souls, no service"
--© Ali C.
(copyrighting only because I wanbt to make it something mopre some day)
**Ali** |
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(2 Unbroken spirits | Try to tame me ) |
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| New goal... |
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| 05:54pm 08/08/2002 |
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I will attempt to write in this thing.. somewhat often.. maybe a in between of Alison quanity and les say... Shanes Quanity.. :)
Today was.. Like how it should be. I think sometimes that I dont need to see Shane everyday.. but it was weird not talking to him at all... :/. I doubt I will see him tomarrow morning either.. since we are leaving at noon.
It was good for me today.. to get out.. meet new people.. like a glass of water. No one got on my nerves.. and I was just a happy person.. and yet.. it didnt seem fake. I laughed.. and it wasnt that laugh you can only get with fake friends... everyone knows that laugh.. where your stomach hurts.. because they think you are funny.. but they are just nervous.. so laughing is called upon. Maybe it was.. but I laughed.. and thats my happiness..
Thomas had alot to say about laughter. he really is a happy person..from what I know.. which is nothing....
I ate pizza today.. infront of a bunch of girls.. lol.. anyone who knows me at all.. knows my pizza skills.. three pieces.. and the girls were amazed. funny ho I dont care... which I should becasue the world says I should.. and I know I am not "thin".. but.. alittle gym time will work that just fine.. and all that matters.. is I can look in the mirror and say "DAMN! Im hot!" as I sit here.. and eat french fries.. yummmers
**Ali** |
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(4 Unbroken spirits | Try to tame me ) |
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| damn buttons... |
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| 06:47pm 07/08/2002 |
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mood:  bored
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So I wrote inhere.. and put silly me.. I pushed all the buttons and it erased everything. It an omen.. I wasnt suposed to ever write in this thing again. Funny.. How I was the first to come across you Livejournal.. andI am the lesat to write in you.... weird how that works.
I was thinking.. I actually LIKE all of Alisons journal post. We hear so much "trash" about how much she writes in them.. but... all in all.. it is nice to hear how some ones day went.. or what funny thing happened.. how they feel.. I think I, personally.. am lucky enough for her.. or anyone else.. to share her life with...maybe thats why I dont write in here often enough.. becasue I have come to the piont where I dont knwo who is lucky enough to share my life with.. who will truely appriciate how I feel.. how my day went.. or who will just.. well ..lets say.. blow me off.. (because we all know THAT NEVER HAPPENS!!!) :)
So I will sit here.. and rub my eyes..and only the ones that really care.. thats all I need now.. to decipher who give a damn.... and all this uncoding give me headaches.. Headaches that I know the one who truely apprciates me will take away with a swift magic touch.. :)
**Ali** |
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(11 Unbroken spirits | Try to tame me ) |
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| You shouldnt be lighting stuff anyways |
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| 01:23am 23/07/2002 |
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mood:  creative music: Shane sleeping on the phone
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So.. I sit here.. and I realize..lol... I dont know her. And she doesnt know me. I see this little girl still. And I am blinded by the reality of fakeness..thoughts of sleeppvers that dont exist and laughs that echo in the back of my head.I cant say much.. becasue it is't my part. No one will feel this way..a nd I know thats not true either becasue that would be niave for me to say that no one has ever felt this emoton. But.. In my head.. no one will ever undestand how I feel.. becasue I will not share.. in fear of being the person that hits friends in the back of the head. So I can sit there and stare.. and in my mind.. she will be that little girl next door thatloves me and my laugh...the one that still echos. Not hte one who writes how much they love me.. how much they care.. how much they miss me... and then.. realizes that in reality.. I am not the one who they will call if they are in peril. SO I am recalled to Shanes Favorite song.. "Earl had to die..." and for some reason .. it just seems right....
So I wait for Alison to ge nline.. and wonde why she sint already.... and it bothers me.. becasue I fucking want to talk to her.. Nigger.
And then I realize..something else.. that this is the way it was supposed to be.... |
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( Try to tame me ) |
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| Some say integrity is for fools. |
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| 12:49am 15/07/2002 |
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mood:  apathetic music: Sarah McLauclan--- Black and white
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I suppose I have some of it hidden deep down.. deep down though, because I wouldn't say I am a complete fool. You, my friend.. will look at this, and have no idea what the hell I am talking about.. and even have less of a clue what the merchants in my head are selling. So I block you, but I am not detached. I am a fool. It makes me a fool because I belive. In you. In my child-like creatures. In myself.. which is the silliest of all.
You have this grocery list. It has all your favorite meats.. hams, turkey, hamburgers.. yumm.. right? Well.. they are numbeed. You don't know why you number them though, becasue it doesn't really matter what order you purchase your freshly slaughtered carcusses. If you are in the sea food aisle, you aren't going to look at your list.. and be like "hot damn.. shrimp is #4 on my list, and I haven't gotten my ground cow yet". No.. Your not. Unless you are a fool. Right'?
I realize I have the tendancy to let myself be used. I know this is my fault. you will think this is throwing a pity party for myself, but as you can tell, I have disallowed comments so I dont hear anything from people like you. # 1 user... used me for sex... head.... whatever he pleased. Funny how I went along with it. Funny how I know look back upon it and realize that I am really not strong nor am I independant. For a person with eiher of theese traits would never have been treated in such a way. My friends.. they are great. No really.. they are. I couldn't ask for more ( fill in blank here) from them. I know though.. that none of them will feel as though they are betraying someone... or that none of them will tear from a silly insult like " you are mean". Theese years of holding things in has cut a hole inside my viens, letting air get in. Cold air I suppose it would be. Trying never gets anyone anywhere. like Homer said. Once you try to lease everyone.. you forget about yourself, and then you become bitter, without letting it show.... and then.. eventually.. it becomes you.. so you neve let your true self show.
So tonight. I dont know what to write about that. I saw this person.. standing in the rain. And dripping wet for that matter. And she was jsus standing there. Looking upon everyone else. Waiting for someone to come.. hug her.. embrace her.. not move for at least a minute or so. but she couldn't look upon herself to realize it was her who need to give. Or It wasn't her who realized that her soulmate standing there needed one more than herself. Sometime.. people are selfish with hugs.
It was the same girl, who Is tired... the one that can't make everyone they way she wished she could feel. Someone always is unhappy in life, and this will never be a perfect world, because there are two people in life---ones that give hugs and ones that recieve hugs.
neither of thoose people will ever be happy. You see... the ones that give out hugs.. they will never feel the embrace of someone who cares.. someone who makes thier day and the ones that recieve.. they will live with the fact that they are selfish. Thats all about them. And I suppose I lied. If you can live with the fact you are greedy with other peoples hearts.... then you can be happy. :)
I feel the need to appologize... But I am sorry, I dont think I should applogize this time.
**Ali** |
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| *blink* |
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| 04:23pm 12/07/2002 |
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mood: bored music: The voices in my head...
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569-593....
"no.... shes not.. shes is out to get her permit.. then to Elijahs..."
430-897...
"Can I call you back... My dad is here..."
647-036...
"Hi.. you have reached Rhiannon's cell phone"
569-705..
"Hi..we arent home right now.."
577-661....
ring...ring..ring...ring...ring....ring...ring....ring...ring.....
Hey.. you wanna do me a favor? you wanna call me? |
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(1 Unbroken spirit | Try to tame me ) |
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yummmy3's journal
